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UNITED STATES AIRLINES UPPER CLASS – VIRGIN ATLANTIC
I felt myself fortunate even to get to Terminal Three at Heathrow. My taxi driver had arrived late, and had then proceeded to negotiate his insanitary vehicle at the pace of a gastropod, while demonstrating a remarkable facility for ignoring both the markings on the roads and the consequent blasts from the horns of those motorists unfortunate enough to be sharing those roads with us. God bless the good taxi drivers! If you can find one, stick with him. (After the return leg, I was met at the barrier by the driver I had booked, who turned out to be a most affable and efficient fellow, so my belief in a benign Deity was somewhat restored.) I have not seen the newly renovated Virgin Clubhouse at Heathrow. I imagine it is rather good; it certainly was in its previous incarnation. Sadly, on this occasion, I was not able to use it, so I cannot report on its facilities. So it was on to the aeroplane, bound for San Francisco. It is difficult to give you a price for the return ticket on Upper Class. As with all the airlines nowadays, the prices go this way and that and depend on so many factors, most of them beyond my ken. Suffice it to say that, if you can book a very long time ahead and you do not need any element of flexibility, you can secure a fare of around £2,500/£3,000 – which strikes me as something of a bargain. The turn to the left made, I surveyed my surroundings. The cabin was spick and span, in the way we expect, and the colour scheme of grey and purple was pleasant. The seats were arranged diagonally, upholstered in soft leather and had high sides. I felt that I had entered a small area of my own. It was not exactly a private world, but it did seem like a separate world. Soon I was enjoying a glass of champagne (Lucas Carton Brut – a reminder to me of my visit to the wonderful three-star restaurant in Paris after which this bubbly is named). I was reassured – as I always am – by champagne’s magic ability to maintain its bouquet in even difficult environments. There were, of course, electrical controls for all sorts of things, and I am sure that the many of you who do not share my own technological illiteracy would have enjoyed playing with them. I was simply relieved that there was one for the lumbar support in the seat, so that my role as Martyr to the Bad Back could be cast aside for a few hours. I think it would have been possible to eat the main meal at any time (from the appropriately entitled ‘Freedom Menu’), but I was content to join my fellow passengers in dining soon after take-off and thereafter attempting to find the Land of Nod. A white linen tablecloth and napkin therefore appeared on the substantial table which the stewardess had caused to appear before me. Strong, straightforward flavours are what we need in the clouds, to overcome the destructive effect on our palates of the pressurized cabin. A salad of halibut, smoked salmon and marinated prawn, with radish and balsamic lemon dressing fitted the bill, as did the following beef Wellington with rosemary jus, dauphinoise potatoes and roasted root vegetables. Then came the two courses which always seem to be good in the air – cheese and pudding. I particularly liked the Shropshire Blue, served with crackers and grapes, and the sticky toffee pudding with vanilla sauce, with which, at my request, I was served the only comestible which truly glories in high altitude – ice cream.
Thus fed and watered, I was ready to attempt to achieve the impossible – sleep. Were I not so anxious about what might happen in an emergency, I would probably be willing to take an elephant-sized sleeping draught to bring on oblivion, but the next best stratagem on an aeroplane is to lie horizontally. The charming stewardess, Claire, appeared and performed her magic. With the pressing of buttons and a modicum of whirring, my seat was transformed into a completely flat bed. I did not put on the ‘sleeping suit’ which was offered to me – the prospect of climbing in and out of pyjamas within the confines of the loo being somewhat off-putting. But I did get onto the bed, with a pillow under my head and a blanket over my body. Did I sleep? I supposed not, but I think that on this occasion I must have supposed erroneously. I simply had to have slept, for otherwise the many hours would not have passed so quickly. Indeed, even before I had time to get truly grumpy, I was being served afternoon tea, with chicken sandwiches, cup cakes and – the highlight – an excellent warm scone. And then it was time to prepare for the landing. Even for his miserable flier, this was a good flight. Remember, then: a gentleman (or a lady) must always turn left when entering an aeroplane. Remember, too: if you are on a Virgin Atlantic aeroplane, you will be about to enjoy Upper Class.
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ADDRESSES VIRGIN ATLANTIC UPPER CLASS
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© Francis Bown 2003